A top quarterback can be the difference between a good college team and a championship one. Lane Kiffen, USC’s new football coach, has a good one in Matt Barkley, freshman leader of last year’s team who could grow into a superstar if he stays in school and resists the temptation to leave school early for the megabucks of the NFL.
But Kiffen isn’t standing pat. Barkley may quarterback the Trojans through the 2012 season, but after that? Don’t worry, Trojan fans. Kiffen has a plan for 2015, in the person of 13-year old David Sills of Bear, Delaware. “David’s always wanted to go to USC,” says his proud dad.
But why stop at 13-year olds? With the advances in genetics it should soon be possible to breed quarterbacks. Of course they won’t be ready to lead the Trojans into battle for, umm, 18 years and nine months. Maybe the USC medical school could research cloning. Kiffen could have his choice of a copy of Peyton Manning or Drew Brees, depending on who does best in Sunday’s Super Bowl.
Oh, but cloning humans is unethical. Better to recruit more 13-year olds. Then a nine-year old to replace Sills in 2019.